Financial Triggers: Where They Start and How Tulix Jars Help Me Manage Mine
Wairimu Ndung'u
When you read the title, what came to mind? Was it an Instagram shop you can’t stop buying jewellery from or a tool you need for your work but won’t buy? Financial triggers make you spend money on things that don’t align with your goals or avoid spending where necessary.
Sometimes you’re keeping up with your friends’ lifestyles or self-soothing with material things because you grew up with less money. A trigger can also look like not purchasing what you need because you’re afraid of going broke.
Whatever the trigger may be, it can quickly put a dent in your finances or make it harder to execute financial goals when you do have the money.
Where Do Triggers Start?
Managing financial triggers is a lifelong journey that starts with understanding your money journey: your money story, money scripts and your money relationship.
Your money story starts in the environment where you first heard conversations about money. Money scripts are the conclusions you make from your environment that shape your beliefs about money. Lastly, a money relationship takes shape when you start handling your own cash—what you spend it on, why you look for it, what it reminds you of, how often you look at it and who you’re willing to share it with.
Let me paint a clearer picture using my own money journey.
- Money story (environment) - Growing up, money was used as a tool to silence differing opinions e.g “You’re living under my roof” and “I’m paying for school fees”;
- Money scripts (mind) - It started with “I hate money” to “I need to be financially independent as soon as possible”;
- Money relationship (me + money) - I became very disciplined with savings and essential expenses and thought I would go broke if I spent on wants.
It’s easier to map out your money journey after you’ve been spending money for a while and are able to walk back from the relationship, to the scripts and to the story that created the trauma.
Remember, there are multiple scripts playing out in your current money relationship so rewriting them is a lifelong process. That’s why it’s more important to become a ‘financial guru’ in your own life and Tulix can help you along the way.
Becoming My Own Financial Guru
Budgeting as a process has to be tailored to the wound you’re healing in your money relationship. Case in point…
I’m very disciplined and view money as security and autonomy so my financial decisions are focused on long-term stability. This is tied to my life goal of managing bipolar disorder while using my career to finance my work as a mental illness activist. “Pay now, play later” sums up my approach to life.
However, I didn’t have a clear understanding of my money relationship until I created my own Tulix Jars. Remember, my money trauma is a fear of going broke when I spend on wants-so I created a Fun Jar and implemented the same discipline in using it.
I realised how much fear limited my ability to execute the long-term goals I was ready for. Thus, spending on small stuff like takeout while clearly seeing my bills were always paid on time encouraged me to move to my own place—a lifelong dream for me.
Managing Your Triggers Long-Term
There’s a myth that being financially disciplined means you have the best money relationship and if you fall on the spendthrift side you’re absolutely failing. It’s not that simple because people have different goals and risk tolerance.
In my case, I needed to tweak my relationship to include spending on goals whose targets I had met. I used what I call an anchor expense, my Fun Jar, to track the specific area I’m working on in my money relationship.
Even now I still have to push through the fear on some days and restock groceries I budgeted for but looking at my current anchor expense, Food Jar, among Jars for other expenses reminds me I have enough.
What anchor expense can you use to start mapping out your money relationship? Learn how to create a Jar for it here.